10 Tips To Help Your Child Manage His Anger
All parents find themselves, at one point or another, struggling with an angry child. Whether the crises are recurrent or transient, they are rarely easy to manage and always occur at the right time.
Here are some tips that can help you guide your little ones … while keeping yourself calm!
1. Keep calm and don’t give too much attention to seizures
When their children lose their temper, many parents tend to lose patience themselves. This is completely normal since mood swings often occur during more sensitive moments of the day or the week when the child (like his parents!) Is tired or at the end of his nerves.
When the crisis occurs, step back, change rooms in the house, continue your daily activities and give the child as little attention as possible.
2. Help him name the emotion he feels
The smaller the child, the fewer words he has to express what he feels. A great load of anger can overwhelm the little one who repeatedly tries to make himself understood or to pass a message, without success.
When he has calmed down or is in the process of doing so, you can help him put into words his feeling of frustration. “Are you mad because you can’t finish your puzzle?” “,” Your brother took your toy away from you and you didn’t like it? It is by learning to identify and name the sources of his frustration that the child will be able, with practice, to better identify and communicate them.
3. Teach him to express his frustration in words and not in gestures
Very often upset by his own angry emotions, the child will sometimes tend to hit or throw objects. Make it very clear to him that you will not accept any act of violence on his part, and if he persists, make him understand that his actions will have consequences (punishment, loss of privilege).
If he knows that you are letting any aggressive gesture pass, he risks reproducing them rather than trying to calm down, to get what he wants.
4. Show him to recognize the signals of anger
To learn to manage your anger, you must first recognize that you are angry.
Whether physical, psychological or behavioral, several signs can alert your child to the anger that is rising in him and by learning to identify and recognize them, he can, with learning to speak, verbalize them rather than letting them invade it.
5. Teach him how to calm down
Once your child has learned to recognize the signals of anger, you can then show them simple tips that will help them calm down, or at least help them get over it.
Depending on their age, you can guide them by teaching them basic relaxation techniques (there are relaxation discs intended for children), breathing, concentration or healthy ways to let off steam (a “battle” of balls). snow or drawing and writing down his anger, for example).
Using these methods will allow him to get out of the negative emotion so that he can move on quickly.
6. Encourage him to interpret certain situations correctly
Sometimes the child interprets certain gestures or external behaviors as hostile to him, which can provoke groundless anger. If he is old enough to explain what caused him this reaction,
it is good to come back to it by helping him identify the real causes of his anger, rather than the apparent causes (“you are angry because that you lost your soccer match and not because I forbade you to watch TV before supper? ”) In this way, he learns to define the real foundations of his crises, which allows him to rationalize them and act on them when the real causes arise.
7. Reinforce positive and desirable behaviors
While ignoring your child’s tantrums, let them know what behaviors you enjoy. If you see that he is on the verge of anger, but that he has managed to control himself, do not hesitate to congratulate him and give him your full attention.
8. Intervene and stay in touch after the crisis
Even if you punished your child during the crisis, it is important to return to him when he has calmed down, to show him that he remains a worthy being and that his anger does not make him less friendly.
By explaining to him that it is not him, but his behavior that you reprove, he will avoid devaluing himself while understanding that he has an interest in behaving in a more acceptable way if he wants to avoid being withdrawn again.
9. Teach him to show emotional reactions in a more acceptable form than anger.
Your child may react with a tantrum every time he gets angry, frustrated, irritated or upset by something or someone. We must, therefore, teach him to have more acceptable reactions.
Take the necessary measures to prevent him from committing an aggressive act, for example, snatching a toy from one of his comrades. Put your arm around him and explain that you understand his reaction to the situation. Say, for example, “I know you don’t mind having this toy.” “
10. Encourage autonomy
Preschoolers become more and more independent as they grow up and they must be given the opportunity to assert this autonomy. A child will be less likely to respond by having a crisis if given the opportunity to fend for themselves to meet certain needs.